So Many Things on My Mind...

Today I went to go and "talk" to someone.  This was not my idea, but things have been less than bleak for me lately, so it was determined by parties unmentioned that I would be going to "see" someone.  Not my finest hour, but an hour nonetheless.  I'm not sure how much insight I took away from the whole ordeal-they want me to come back again to talk, and I said "sure".  I'm still unhappy. Actually, unhappy is the upside of what I am right now...I'm not even into to writing, and it's been that way for quite sometime now, even before my spiral down to where I am at the moment. BUT, one of the best ways to get over writers block is to write so I'm doing it. It is even said that writing  I have nothing to write, I have nothing to write, I have nothing to write over and over again is a perfect way to get stimulated.  Right now, it's of no use, even in writing I am flashing back to happier times for me, taking walks at night hand-in-hand under street lights, flashing back on ebony cornrows and my pulse like lightening.  It's hard to be here- it's hard to be anywhere, especially in my own head which is why I try to spend so much time out of it, a quest in futility.   

So, there is the 2nd book to think about, and the re-launch of the first book to think about, and the when am I ever going to use my FlipVideo camera again without the strong urge to breakdown in tears from memories to think about, and I can't even begin to wrap my head around Christmas.